Be kind to yourself

Women of the world, let us please start a kindness revolution. Kindness and mercy toward ourselves. Let us give our bodies a break. Thank our bodies for what they can do, or have done. Even if that list is relatively short.

I spend a lot of time at Frugal defending women’s bodies to them. We are so quick to list our perceived faults and trouble areas:

“I have linebacker shoulders.”
“I can’t wear that color.”
“Maybe if I lost 50 pounds.”
“I have no shoulders/butt/boobs.”
“I’m too short.”
“I don’t show my arms.”

These little nasty phrases break my heart. They are harmful and hurtful. I guarantee we are all harder on ourselves and our appearance than anyone else would ever think to be. Too many women dread the fitting room or assume nothing will fit them. Seriously, the number of women who have said, “Nothing fits me.” Nothing? You’re not naked now, right? Something fits you. There are endless ways to have a body. So many shapes. But there are woefully limited ways to mass produce clothing.

If you are shopping with me, I am going to steer you toward things like:

“I have strong shoulders.”
“I wear that color as an accent or accessory because I love it.
“That dress fits you so well.”
“This cut highlights your [insert asset here].”

So many ways to have a body, so few ways to mass-produce clothes.

So many ways to have a body, so few ways to mass-produce clothes.

One way you can carve out a little kindness toward your body is to know what fits and stick with it. This is especially true with vintage clothing. Curvy? Choose mid-century pin-up looks. Long and straight? Look to the 1970s. Also, find a tailor. Buy great clothes second-hand and have them altered to fit you. Don’t alter your self-image to suit throw-away fashion from the mall.

To quote the great Otis Redding, Try a little tenderness. Honor your body with great clothes. Choose the parts of your self that you love and accent them like crazy.

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4 thoughts on “Be kind to yourself

  1. Absolutely true. I’m so guilty of doing this. Your customers are very lucky to have you not only help them dress fashionable but lift their spirits as well. I’m already looking forward to next month’s blog xo

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  2. I love this , however, let us not forget the women who are ‘crones’, still loving love, celebrating life and bodies that show our history. Grey, striped, mapped w/ veins, lines of life. We too need affirmation . Count me in on the next photo shoot and I will bring women friends over 50 :-0 , 😉

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  3. Trans women like myself often have a lot of difficulty finding clothing that fits, and face a lot of embarrassment and stigma about our bodies and how we relate to them. It would give me so much pleasure to be able to work with a seamstress whom I could trust with my insecurities and who would not cause me to feel shame or anxiety for the ways in which my body might differ from her other clients.

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